Dont Photocopy Your Face

What starts out as some harmless fun, just turns ugly.

The Bush Shoe Incident Reborn

LOL! Some of these are pretty good!!

Apart from this first one, the images are all animated so they may take a minute to load depending on your provider!

Ad for Nikons New Camera

I love clever advertising!

Giraffe in Quicksand

I love Robot Chicken. Here is another great clip!

Las Vegas Hooker

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, “How much do you charge?”

Hooker replies, “It starts at $500 for a hand-job.”

Guy says, “$500 dollars! For a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!”

The hooker says, “Do you see that Denny’s on the corner?”

“Yes.”

“Do you see the Denny’s about a block further down?”

“Yes.”

“And beyond that, do you see that third Denny’s?”

“Yes.”

“Well,” says the hooker, smiling invitingly, “I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that’s worth $500.”

Guy says, “What the hell? You only live once. I’ll give it a try.” They retire to a nearby motel.

A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, “I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?”

The hooker replies, “$1,500.”

I wouldn’t pay that for a blow-job!”

The hooker replies, “Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that’s worth every cent of $1,500.”

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, “Sign me up.”

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money’s worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker,

“How much for some pussy?”

The hooker says, “Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?”

“Damn!” the guy says, in awe, “You own the whole city?”

“No,” the hooker replies, “but I would if I had a pussy.”

Blue Screen of Death Collection

I love it when things go wrong with Windows and the whole world gets to see it!

Top Ten Sexually Tilted Lines in Star Wars

Here are the Top 10 Sexually Tilted Lines in the original Star Wars Trilogy.

Star Wars, Episode IV: A New Hope

1. “She may not look like much, but she’s got it where it counts, kid.”
2. “Curse my metal body, I wasn’t fast enough!”
3. “Look at the size of that thing!”
4. “Sorry about the mess…”
5. “You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.”
6. “Aren’t you a little short for a stormtrooper?”
7. “You’ve got something jammed in here real good.”
8. “Put that thing away before you get us all killed!”
9. “Luke, at that speed do you think you’ll be able to pull out in time?”
10. “Get in there you big furry oaf, I don’t care *what* you smell!”

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

1. “And I thought they smelled bad…on the *outside*!”
2. “Possible he came in through the south entrance.”
3. “I must’ve hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?”
4. “Hurry up, golden-rod…”
5. “That’s okay, I’d like to keep it on manual control for a while.”
6. “But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cummm…”
7. “Control, control! You must learn control!”
8. “There’s an awful lot of moisture in here.”
9. “Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?”
10. “I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me!”

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

1. “Rise, my friend.”
2. “Open the back door!”
3. “Hey, point that thing somewhere else!”
4. “It’s just a dead animal…”
5. “Not bad for a little furball.”
6. “How can they be jamming us if they don’t know we’re coming?”
7. “Come here, I won’t hurt you. You want something to eat?”
8. “Keep on that one, I’ll take these two.”
9. “I want you to take her. I mean it, take her!”
10. “I don’t think the Empire had wookies in mind when they designed her, Chewie.”